Being the parent of a child with special sensory needs, I found the holidays could be particularly challenging. A time that I looked forward to sharing family traditions with my child became a source of worry instead: would they act up? Would other family members understand what was going on with
them? Is their meltdown going to be my only lasting memory of this holiday season?
To help you answer these questions, here are three tips for preparing yourself for the holidays. I’ve found these helpful for myself, my family and, most of all, my child when we’re planning for big family gatherings or other special
events.
Gear Up To Answer Your Child’s Needs
It’s a simplistic statement, but in truth a complex concept: knowing what types of sensory inputs your child needs to remain balanced will help you plan. My child craves lots of proprioceptive input (which helps them feel themself in their body or which supports understanding of where their body is in space) as well as vestibular input (their sense of their whole body in gravity or which supports understanding how their body moves in space). On the other end, they avoid novel smells, new foods and certain types of visual stimuli. As a result, when we pack the car to travel to my family’s holiday celebration, we bring along toys and games anyone can play with them: a mini-parachute, weighted blanket, astronaut spinning board, as well as small stuff that they find calming and centering, like favorite videos, books or toys. We found it’s also great to have a small space set aside where they can go to have a break. It’s easy to forget just how overwhelming the holidays can be, and for someone who already has differences processing various types of sensory stimuli at once, the combination of music, lights, food smells, hugging, crowds, and loud voices can be overwhelming!
Set Expectations For Yourself
Family traditions don’t always leave a lot of room for flexibility, and kids don’t always feel capable, and may not have the skill, of saying no to activities that make them feel uncomfortable. So I recommend picking one or two elements of the holiday that you would like your child to participate in: Maybe opening
presents and a family meal are the two biggest events of the season. Perhaps a long walk outside and baking cookies are the memories you’d like to have of your child from the season. Whatever those things are, help prepare your child for participating in those activities with a visit to a playground for some intense swinging before the neighborhood holiday party, a quiet break reading a book before opening gifts, or laying under a weighted blanket for a while before dinner. Whatever it takes to support your child’s sensory pump–even if it seems strange or extreme to you–might just help the special event be more enjoyable for everyone.
Think Long Term
Just as there are no quick fixes to helping a child with sensory differences get into balance, there is no quick fix to getting a child with theses differences to engage in the overwhelming whirl of the holidays. So work with your child to take small steps each year. After a successful holiday think about some options to add for the coming year’s holiday season and plan accordingly. If you can talk with your child, ask them what else looked like fun, or what they would like to try the next year. If things didn’t go as hoped, discuss what might be a better activity, or how you can prepare better next year.
